The Worst Farts in MMA?

The following is an excerpt from the latest installment of a four-part series on IFL welterweight champ and Long Island native Jay Hieron:

"We had a lot of good times in the IFL, (Mike) Pyle and I. At one of the events we were at, the commission guys were watching us wrap our hands and everyone just started farting. Mike has the worst farts ever. Anyone who knows him knows that that is true. He should be in the Guiness Book of World Records for stinkiest farts. I’d bet my next purse that no one has worse farts. Bas had a towel over his face the whole time. It stank in that locker room. It got so bad at one point the commission guys had to leave the room. We were wrapping our hands with nobody watching. We could have put brass knuckles in our gloves. Of course we didn’t, we just wrapped our hands up right and went out and did our business."

That's amazing.

By the Way, the Latest EliteXC Show Sucked

And I normally enjoy their product. Here are some notes:

- Bill Goldberg's gotta go. Period. I thought he did a decent job during September's "Uprising" card, but the broadcast came to a stand-still every time he opened his mouth Saturday night. Particularly awful were his post-fight interviews, which were laden with awkward pauses and his professional wrestling delivery.

- I can deal with the EliteXC dancing girls, even though at one point, a few of the girls were dancing when there was no music in the arena. But the guy dancers in the middle of the ring? Come on now...

- Antonio "Bigfoot" Silva looked good, disposing of a very sloppy Jonathan Wiezorek in Round 1. For a big fella, Silva moves well, especially on the ground.

- Jake Shields is for reals! I thought Mike Pyle would give Shields a tough fight. Nope. Pyle landed 2 solid knees early in the first round, but Shields shook them off, reversed a takedown attempt by Pyle, mounted, and then choked out Pyle via RNC in Round 1. Shields said he was pissed that this turned out not to be a title fight, and he seemed to have taken it out on Pyle.

- Nick Diaz didn't look bad in defeat. Sure, he took some big shots, but he also took some punishment early on against Mike Aina, Gomi, and just about everyone else he's faced professionally. As expected, he started out in a very tactical, methodical, almost precise manner. Unfortunately, KJ Noons did not and landed some very damaging right hands that busted up Diaz early on and eventually prompted the ringside physician to call the fight before Round 2. The best part of the evening was Diaz storming out of the cage, throwing up double middle fingers and slapping away a camera on his way to the showers.

- I'm a huge Nick Diaz fan, but hats off to KJ Noons. This guy loves to throw his hands, and he does it well. He also did a good job of stuffing Diaz's takedown attempts, which did not look particularly crisp. I look forward to more from Noons.

- Kimbo Slice didn't show me much, simply because he didn't have to. Bo Cantrell opened the fight with a spinning backfist (that didn't connect), and Kimbo repsponded with a right uppercut and a close-range right elbow. And that's all she wrote. If you ask me, Cantrell was psyched out before he even entered the cage.

- The Kleinbeck-Noke fight was also stopped as a result of a cut, but damn did Noke look good! Kleinbeck is a strong, powerful middleweight, but Noke gave him fits on the ground and seemed to be just as strong, especially from inside Kleinbeck's guard. I'd love to see these two meet again soon.

Overall, there just wasn't enough fighting for my liking; 5 matches gave us only about 18:30 of actual action. Luckily, I didn't have to pay for this card.

EliteXC Press Conference Recap: New Weight Classes, New Opponent for Kimbo

EliteXC held a conference call for the media yesterday to promote their November 10 card. Here are some highlights, courtesy of Sam Caplan:

- EliteXC has made official its weight classes: 140 lbs, 150 lbs, 160 lbs (LW), 170 lbs 9 (WW), 185 lbs (MW), 186-205 lbs (LHW), 206-265 lbs (HW), and 265+ lbs (SHW).

- A broken left clavicle will keep Mike Bourke from fighting Kimbo Slice on November 10. Bo Cantrell has been signed as a replacement.

- President Gary Shaw said that he'd welcome Randy Couture with open arms into EliteXC in virtually any capacity.

- Jake Shields and Mike Pyle will not be fighting for the welterweight title. Apparently, Pyle is unhappy with EliteXC and that his fight against Shields on November 10 will be his last with the promotion.

- Shaw said that he’s trying to get Antonio "Giant" Silva cleared for the card and that Yves Edwards is also a possibility for November 10.

- Shaw said he is open to using the tournament concept, not that it’s been reinstated in California.

- Kimbo has been training hard with Bas Rutten and has put smoking, drinking, and sex on the shelf for the time being. He noted that although he used to get high before some of his street fights, he'd never do that in MMA.

- Shaw said he'd like talk to Kimbo about getting him involved in pro boxing.

- Kimbo said he'd fight Tank Abbott "anywhere."

- Shaw said that EliteXC hosted Josh Barnett as a guest during their September Hawaii show and that he definitely has interest in Barnett.

- Shields said that a match with Paul Daley would be an easy fight for him (Shields) and one that he’d finish in the first round.

Shields vs. Pyle at EliteXC November Event

Jake Shields, fresh off his dominating performance against Renato Verissimo at last month's EliteXC Uprising event, will fight Mike Pyle on EliteXC's November 10 card.

Pyle, a WEC and IFL veteran, most recently defeated Aaron Weatherspoon in June, and based on that performance, as well as Pyle's IFL losses to Matt Horwich and Rory Markham, I have to go with Mr. Shields in this fight. Come to think of it, there aren't too many welterweights I'd pick over Shields.

For more on Shields vs. Pyle, click here.