Faithful readers of this blog (both of you) know that the only thing I enjoy more than the action in the cage is the artful discourse offered up by Mike Goldberg. The shallow knowledge base, the limited command of his own native language, the irregular cadence of his speech...there's just one Goldie, kids.
Here are some gems from Saturday's UFC 79. Keep in mind that the following were said with complete seriousness and great conviction:
"Harley DAVID-son...the only motorcycles worthy of being in the octagon!" -- Never have I seen a motorcycle in the octagon. Ever.
"Catches a quick jab..."
(Rogan): "That was a straight left."
"Yeah, it was. Pardon me." -- I almost made pudding in my pants when I heard this one.
"For their entire lives, they've been as dangerous as any fighter alive!" -- Beautiful hyperbole.
"He (Wanderlei Silva) defines...cagefighter!" -- Even though he built his legacy in a ring...
"I spoke to John Hackelman last night, Joe, and he said that Chuck IS...ready!" -- You never spoke to Hackelman.
"David Spade...amongst the MEGA-celebrities who've come out for the UFC." -- David Spade is a little lesbian who is by no means a mega-celebrity.