Thursday, January 10, 2008

Melvin Guillard Is Out of His Mind

In a recent interview with The Baltimore Sun, lightweight cokemonkey Melvin Guillard cemented his status as my least favorite MMA fighter today. He discussed leaving the UFC to pick up some wins in smaller promotions, his indefatigable hatred of Rich "No Love" Clementi, and donations to the Melvin Negro Fund. (No, I’m not making this up.) You should definitely check this out.

In the meantime, here are some highlights from the interview:

I took his (Rich Clementi) heart before he got in the ring. He was scared to fight me before he got in the ring. And, it’s like I tell everybody – and I’m going to keep saying it – when I see him again, I’m going to fight him again. Clementi not only submitted Guillard at UFC 79 in the very first round, but he also knocked him out in a kickboxing match a few years ago. Melvin, you might want to reconsider going after Clementi. Bad things happen in threes.

Of course, everybody saw that he was the victorious one [at UFC 79] but he sits up there and says, "I’ll stand toe-to-toe with Melvin," but everybody with their own eyes saw he wasn’t ready to stand up with me. Look, kids, it’s an idiot! After all, it’s not as if Clementi was connecting with hard leg and body kicks before the fight went to the ground or anything...

But, as I’m getting up, it’s like he kicked me in the back of the neck, and it pushed me back down a little bit. So, I’m like, “What the [expletive deleted]?” And, I jump up like, “No, he did not just put his nuts on my neck.” Yes, he did just put his nuts on your neck! And then he gestured to the aforementioned nuts, waved as you were taken from the cage, and then trashed you some more. You should come over and watch it on my DVR. It was pretty funny.

The only people I have to respect and obey are my fans and my friends and family. As far as fighters go, I don’t have to respect or be friends with any of them. As far as I’m concerned, I might stand in front of them and face them one day. You don't have to respect other fighters? That bulls-eye you just put on yourself brings out the red in your eyes.

I got booed before the fight, I got booed after the fight, but I’m still one of the crowd favorites. Melvin, define favorites for us.

Yeah, I like to talk [expletive deleted] but I also back it up. I haven’t gotten my ass beat. I haven’t been in a fight yet where somebody has outclassed me or just beat me down. Every fight I’ve been in, the ones I’ve lost have been from submission or a close judges’ decision. When you really look at my record and all the losses that I have, I’ve lost to jiu-jitsu guys. Nobody is ever going to stand in front of me and beat my ass. My mom did that all my life so those days are over with. Guillard doesn’t seem to understand that 1) he does not back up his talk, 2) he has gotten his ass beat, and 3) swinging wildly at an opponent, missing, and then being overpowered and choked out less than 30 seconds (see Guillard’s fight with Joe Daddy) is a clear example of being outclassed. Someone needs to tell Melvin that this is mixed martial arts and that there’s more to it than just trading punches.

Well, I wanted to fight Roger Huerta, but they said he’s on vacation right now. So, that fight’s up in the air. Other than that, man, I don’t care. As long as they put me back in. I’d prefer to fight a few strikers for a while until I can get my jiu-jitsu game up. Because, my last two fights, they gave me mat rats -- they just wanted to hug me. I get enough hugs at home. I want to fight some people that are ready to stand up and trade punches and kind of put me to the test. Wait, wait, wait…you just bad-mouthed Clementi, a strong jiu-jitsu guy, for not standing with you, but now that you’re hoping to work your jiu-jitsu, you want a striker? And you want to fight Roger Huerta! Fucking brilliant.

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